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Who else uses Express Commission?

Established in 2005 Express Commission continues to make Commission Advances in July 2020 to leading residential, commercial, and industrial real estate agencies and business brokers across Australia.

Agencies of all sizes use our services, from sole traders up to well established and very large agencies. Our client base includes independents together with members of Australia’s most successful real estate groups:

  • Barry Plant
  • Belle Property
  • Biggin & Scott
  • Century 21 
  • Coldwell Banker
  • First National
  • Harcourts
  • Elders    
  • Hocking Stuart
  • IRENE: Independent Real Estate Network
  • L J Hooker
  • Laing+Simmons
  • One Agency
  • Professionals
  • Pro-Active Real Estate
  • PRD Nationwide
  • Raine & Horne
  • Ray White
  • Realway
  • Re/ MAX
  • Richardson & Wrench
  • Starr Partners
  • Stockdale & Leggo
Express Agent News
26 Oct 2016 issue

Selected article shown below. See all articles for this issue.

Express Humour

Express Humour:  Signs You May Have Finally Grown Up

Some very enlightening insights about real life; these may not be funny (some are actually quite sad) but they did make me chuckle. I hope you enjoy them – and that not a single one of them applies to you or any of your friends!

25 SIGNS YOU MAY HAVE GROWN UP

  1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
  2. Having sex in a single bed is out of the question.
  3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
  4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
  5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
  6. You watch the Weather Channel.
  7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
  8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 15.
  9. Jeans and a jumper no longer qualify as "dressed up."
  10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the music.
  11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
  12. You don't know what time KFC closes anymore. 
  13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
  14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
  15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
  16. You take naps.
  17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
  18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
  19. You go to the chemist for nurofen and antacid, rather than condoms and pregnancy tests. 
  20. A $10.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good stuff."
  21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
  22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
  23. Most of the time you spend at the computer is for actual work. 
  24. You eat at home to save money. 
  25. When you find out a friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh No! What the hell happened?"

Bonus #26:

You read this entire list looking desperately for a sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt. Then you forward it to a  bunch of old pals & friends because you know they'll enjoy it & do the same.

 

Do you have any feedback on this article or ideas for a topic that you would like us to cover in future editions?

Email us at admin@expresscommission.com.au